Messaging someone

Them: Doesn't reply

Me: I regret this

Me: I regret everything

Me: I regret my whole life

Me: I regret every tiny atom from every star from every corner of the galaxy that crash-landed on this earth and created the prehistoric aquatic organism that was my first multicellular ancestor

men: I can’t stand girls with low self-esteem, it’s such a turn off

men: Ew a fat girl ew stretch marks I want to be able to pick a girl up and kiss her and hold her in the air wow she has a flat chest mosquito-bite boobs oh gosh I don’t like boobs that big they get in the way I want a flat tummy on my girl oh she has to have a great body no love handles yuck beef curtains are gross I like big nipples I like small nipples yuck thunder thighs no that’s too thin you look anorexic I love curves no not plus-size just skinny girls with small waists and big hips wow caked on make-up is such a turn-off yet I worship this celebrity that has never been seen without make-up and I watch porn so my idea of a real woman is thousands of dollars in plastic surgery and I have unreasonable standards that real women will never be able to attain

Me: i'm over my crush

Crush: hey

Me: nvm